Where's Hernandez? (Part 1)

Ok, so much is happening, and I was hoping Hernandez would crawl out from the eternal diaper and speak about some of it. Instead, I'll have to invoke his presence, sucking it out of the ether like the devil inside fish.

In Bez-bol:

The Mets "fired" Willie Randolph in a hotel room at 3:15 in the morning by General Manager Omar Minaya. Riiiiight. Omar came to Willie's hotel room at 3 in the morning to talk about work? I don't think so.

Here's how the conversation went.*

Willie: What...mmph...is that a feather duster?
Omar: Sweep for me, Oprah!
Willie: (mutters) Quit touchin' me, old man, I ain't that kind of...
Omar: Beg for your supper!
Willie: WTF? Get off me, motherfucker!
Omar: (pants)
Willie:
Omar:
Willie: Fuck man, I quit! I quit.
Omar: (stops panting)
Willie: (pants still off)
Omar: well..
Willie: Well what?!?
Omar: don't look at me--oh god--i told myself I wasn't gonna do this---
Willie: Omar...
Omar: no no no don't stop me, I deserve it....
Willie: listen, listen listen. no don't pick at that, it'll just bleed again! listen, man.
Omar: no no no...you don't understand...
Willie: understand what?
Omar: I get to fire you.
Willie: (pants on)
Omar: I get to fire you!
Willie: What...
Omar: Fired! Fired fired fired! Fi-red! Red fi!
Willie: Shit...
Omar: (pants)
Willie: Do I get unemployment?

Or something like that...

*The surveillance van smells like Hernandez + cat piss.

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HOCKEY/BASKETBALL

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Center Martin Straka of the New York Rangers decided he was headed back to his Czech homeland. And in the NBA draft, the Knicks selected Italian forward Danilo Gallinari.

Girls, this is a GREAT trade.

Gallinari:



















Straka: