Beer Money

Keith and I share a love of at least one other thing besides sports. Let your mind wander all you want gaylords, but I'm talking about trivia.

For years I've wondered why sports trivia shows haven't ever caught on. There have been a few attempts, but they've never lasted. Why? Shouldn't ESPN have its own version of Jeopardy by now? I figure there's an endless supply of mooks willing to go on these shows, there's so much time to fill on ESPN's various channels, and you'd think they'd want to try out some new on-air talent in the hopes of finding the next Craig Kilborne or Keith Olberman. But for whatever reason it hasn't happened. If I knew someone who worked in television I'd try to do something about this.

One of the best failed sports trivia shows was ESPN's 2-Minute Drill, hosted by Kenny Mayne, which aired for a few years starting in the late 1990's. A friend of mine won something like $30,000 on that show. You had to beat another schmo in two speed rounds, and if you made it to the final round you got to double your money by correctly answering a multi-part question on a topic you were allowed to pre-select before the show. My buddy's question was about the 1986 Mets, and it was a good one: Who started Game 6 of the World Series for the Red Sox? Who pinch hit for that starter in the eighth inning? Who was on deck for the Mets when Mookie Wilson hit the ball to Buckner? And who was the winning pitcher of the game? The answers are below, pussies.

Where does this all lead us? To SNY's new stab at a sports trivia show, Beer Money. It's horrible, but I'm recommending it anyway. Well, not to everyone, but maybe just to Keith.

The format finds your hosts - NYC radio vet Chris Carlin and some cooze whose name I'll never remember (That's a lie. Her name is Julie and I want to fuck her. Badly) - asking New York sports trivia questions to random people at various local sports venues and really shitty bars I would never be caught dead in. About 98 percent of the contestants are mouth breathers from Long Island or Jersey, and the show is all the better for it.

The hosts ask a $10 question, then a $20 question, then a $100 question, so the most you can win is $130. Enough for beer money, get it? Oh the hilarity! You can stop at any time and keep what you've got, or you can risk everything by going for the next level. This being New York, most of the contestants are drunk, cocky, overconfident jerkoffs, so they all get suckered in by the first two easy questions and then blow the much harder $100 question. It makes for good TV when they lose. Unfortunately, one guy I saw from Pittsburgh stopped after the second question, and I nearly threw a brick through my TV. That's why you're stuck living in the Burgh, asshole.

Anyway, like I said, the show is pretty awful, but it's about all we've got for sports trivia TV at the moment. I DVR and watch it in about 12 minutes, and I get about 85 percent of the questions right. It makes me feel superior to the retards on the show, and confirms what I've always known, which is that I have a fucking amazing knowledge of New York sports. Don't believe me? Up your nose with a rubber motherfucking hose!

Trivia Answers (In no particular order): Mike Greenwell, Howard Johnson, Rick Aguilera and Roger Clemens.