'Stump the Schwab', for Hernandez's benefit, is another ESPN show where contestants face off against each other for a chance to beat Howie Schwab, who used to be (and maybe still is) a statistician for ESPN. To make matters worse, the show is hosted by Stuart Scott. Amidst the cheesy graphics and goofball features of SportsCenter, Stuart's Ladies Man shtick and 'cold side of the pillow' jokes are annoying, but on a trivia show it's downright painful.
The trivia itself is pretty good -- instead of typical questions and answers the contestants have to reel off answers to a list. In this clip, the contestants have to name all the current AFC coaches, and later, all the AL winners of the Rolaids relief award, and some woman golfers.
So basically, this fat insufferable prick who gets PAID to research statistics faces off against real sports fans who have real jobs and can only follow sports in their spare time. In some rounds he's actively involved, and others he just sits there and gives commentary and answers questions that contestants miss. But he does it in a way that is infuriatingly condescending. At least the contestants leave the show and get to have sex and lead normal lives. Schwab crawls back into his cave and wipes his tears off the cheek of his blow-up doll.
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How did I miss this show? I honestly can't say I've ever heard of it before. Probably a mental block. Thanks for the video to let me know what I've missed.
What I've missed is what could potentially have been the greatest sports trivia show of all time, only it's ruined by the worst host imaginable and that fat fuck Schwab. (I'm making that a verb from now on, as in, "It's hot as hell out today. I've got to go home and schwab my sweaty balls.")
Did you notice that Schwab is a graduate of St. John's University, the Harvard of Jamaica, Queens? I've never liked anyone who went there. All you need to know about it is that they have a second campus in Staten Island. The jokes just write themselves.
It's really too bad, because those trivia questions are great, and the list thing is fantastic. But the talent completely ruins what should be an incredible show. Why do TV execs suck so hard?
There are two guys from St. John's I'll always love. The first is Bill Wennington. Even when the Bulls were the Knickses nemesis, I loved when Bill Wennington took the floor. He was nearly 7 feet tall but terrible at basketball, but he always worked his ass off. And did I mention he was terrible? He was a lovable club-footed grizzly bear of a basketball player.
Of course Ron Artest is the other. He belongs in the basketball Hall of Fame for punching a Detroit fan. And that gives me a post idea...
Good call on Wennington. Love your description of him. And I'd add that I grew up an SJU basketball fan, so I like all the greats like Chris Mullin, Mark Jackson, Walter Berry, Malik Sealy, Jayson Williams, Artest, etc. It's the actual students who attend the school I can't fucking stand.
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