I am disappointed to announce that another Mets fan joined our ranks. At 1:00 am on Sunday morning, Hernandez's wife gave birth to a baby girl, named Buckner Cocaine Hernandez.
She cries like Tim Duncan after he pushes off against an opponent and gets called for it, even though it happens every time he posts up. She poops like a drunk-on-Coors Rangers fan witnessing the overrated Jaromir Jagr collect another garbage goal.
Upon seeing his new sister, Buckner's 4-year old brother Messier Delgado Hernandez stroked her beautiful mustache before yelling "Daddy hurts!" and being restrained and dragged away by aunts and uncles.
Congratulations to the Hernandez clan. Sometimes I wish I had a beard too...
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1 comment:
Your eloquence brings a tear to my eye. Little Buckner Cocaine will be very proud of this one day.
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