Pine Tar

Summer is waning, pennant races are coming down to the wire, and the MLB playoffs are just around the corner. So it's time to talk some baseball folks - 1983 baseball!

This past July 24th was the 25th anniversary of the famous George Brett pine tar incident at Yankee Stadium, and ESPN Poker... I mean Classic... replayed the game. I recorded it just to see the famous conclusion, but surprisingly, I watched the entire thing. Here are my seven-week-old thoughts:

John Amirante sang the National Anthem. Amirante is MUCH more famous for singing before Ranger games at MSG, and frankly, I was offended to see my hockey good luck charm sully himself by singing before a baseball game. But as announcer Phil Rizzuto said following Mr. Toupee's rousing performance, "It's always a good day when Amirante comes out to the stadium because he brings us the best cannolis. Holy cow!" I'm not shitting you.

This is weird. The main TV camera in center field is actually to the first base side of the pitcher, not the third base side, so the view is reversed from what we've been used to for the last 20 years. Or maybe it was normal and ESPN Classic just ran the old footage through its system backwards. My money's on that.

Shortstop U.L. Washington leads off for the Royals, complete with the ubiquitously large toothpick he always chewed on. Seriously - this thing looks like a shard from one of those shattered maple bats that are endangering people's lives this season. He's got a mad fro too. U.L. is clearly a bad mama jama, just as fine as he can be.


Damn, these guys just wind up and pitch! Shane Rawley and Budd Black aren't messing around on the mound. Neither are the hitters. None of this adjusting equipment and wandering around the field between every pitch - just rear back and throw. How refreshing.

I should note that the middle of the Yankees lineup is Lou Pinella batting third, and Don Baylor cleanup, followed by Dave Winfield in the five hole. Two of those three are fat fucks - even back then - and the other is Winfield, who wasn't exactly svelte either.

Speaking of Mr. Winfield, he swung out of his shoes and nearly fell down every single time he took a cut in this game. I'm completely serious. He looked like a cartoon character trying to play baseball. Was he like this all the time back then?

I guess it paid off because on this day he hits a huge bomb over the 430 sign in left-center and into Monument Park. Yes, you read that correctly - 430 feet to left-center! And this was AFTER they moved the fences in! When you think about the old dimensions of that stadium, it makes the home run numbers for Ruth, Gehrig, Mantle, DiMaggio, et al that much more impressive. And that will be the last time I ever compliment the Yankees again.

Another testament to how large the outfield dimensions were at Yankee Stadium: Don Baylor legged out a triple in this game. And yes, he looks exactly like he does now. Wrap your mind around that for a second.

I almost forgot...right before Winfield hit his homer, Rizzuto went on an extended riff about how Bobby Murcer used a coffee cup as his spittoon, and guys (meaning, Rizzuto) would always mistake it for their drink. He was really mad about it. When Winny hit the bomb he barely acknowledged it, saying almost as an aside, "Winfield hits it way back, and it's gone. So let me finish my Skoal story..." All of the legends about this guy are true. I grew up in New York City, and trust me, in the 1980's Rizzuto was the ONLY reason to tune in to watch the Yankees. He slayed.

It's interesting to note that the Yankee manager in this game is Billy Martin. It's more interesting to note that the third base coach is Don Zimmer and the first base coach is none other than Yogi Berra.

Brett makes a totally late, dirty slide into second on a double play and no one bats an eyelash. Just good, hard baseball. Swoon.

In the top of the ninth, the Yankees make a defensive substitution for first baseman Ken Griffey. After the substitute, a young player just called up from AAA Columbus named Don Mattingly, makes an amazing diving catch, Rizzuto says, "I don't know who he is, but this kid Mattingly obviously doesn't want to be sent back down to the farm." You don't say!

With Kansas City down 4-3 in the ninth, Goose Gossage comes in to face Brett with one on, two outs. Brett crushes one to right field for a 5-4 lead, then all hell breaks loose.

You know the story, but what you may not know is that - to his credit - Billy Martin was all over the umps about the pine tar right away. He was pleading his case literally before Brett crossed home plate. My research shows that the Yankees allegedly noticed how much pine tar Brett had on his bat during a game earlier that season in K.C., and they were waiting for the right moment to bust him for it. It was fantastic gamesmanship.

The other great part is that in those chaotic moments when Brett was being restrained from killing the home plate umpire, Royals pitcher Gaylord Perry sneakily grabbed Brett's bat and ran full speed through the visiting dugout into the clubhouse so he could avoid having it examined further. The TV broadcast ended with stadium security and NYPD officers literally chasing Perry into the bowels of the stadium. Now THAT'S a way to end a game.

The lesser known postscript to the story is that when the AL overruled the umps and the game eventually resumed three weeks later, Billy Martin was so outraged that he started Mattingly at second base and pitcher Ron Guidry in center field as a "fuck you" to the league. Which only goes to prove the old baseball adage that alcoholics make the best managers.

In conclusion, this was easily the best baseball game I watched in 2008.