I glossed over Hernandez's predictions on the Hall of Fame chances of Delgado, Biggio, Thomas and Bagwell. Arguing about the Hall of Fame is a delicious time-waster for baseball fans, the music fan's version of Top 5's and Top 10's. (For the record: no, yes, yes, no.)
But me? I really don't give a shit. The Hall is a sham, because it's picked by sportswriters. And many sportswriters are complete idiots. Take this, for instance: *no* player has ever been unanimously elected to the Hall of Fame. Ted Williams. Mickey Mantle. Babe Ruth. Willie Mays. Hank Aaron. None of them. On the other side, look at some of the players who have got votes who don't belong anywhere near the Hall of Fame unless they have tickets. Frank White - 18 votes. Rick Aguilera - 3 votes. Garry Templeton - 2 votes. Tim Wallach - 1 vote. He played for the Expos! Gregg Jefferies! 2 votes! Come on, people.
And the best ever - Jim Abbott. Jim Abbott went 89-108 with a 4.25 ERA. But he had a frickin' baby arm, and you know sportswriting dipshits *love* that shit. He got 13 votes. When you're voting for the Hall of Fame, you have to consider one fact over all others: you have to be really good at baseball. Jim Abbott is clearly the best baby-armed pitcher ever to play this game. But in order to be really, really good at baseball? You need two arms. I'm sorry. It helps. Saying he was the best one-armed player of his generation is like saying 'This is the best peanut butter and shit sandwich I've ever tasted!'
What also sickens me is how sportswriters have decided to become moral arbiters for the game. As if by leaving out Pete Rose and Mark McGwire the game will somehow retain its poetic beauty and virginal innocence, even though Ty Cobb used to punch out pregnant women and kill cats, sometimes during games (or so I've heard.) The Hall has its share of racists, cheaters and drunks. Men who, if they were dating your daughter, would cause you to sit out on your front porch with a double-barreled shotgun and a thermos of coffee all night. So now why all of a sudden does The Hall of Fame need to be protected?
Mark McGwire was 'roided up when he hit 70 home runs. Okay, fine. I was drunk on Jaegermeister when I tried to jump a train in college. You know what? I STILL TRIED TO JUMP THAT TRAIN.
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2 comments:
Could not agree more with this post, although it would be more entertaining if I did.
I think the sportswriters SHOULD be part of the voting process because most of them take it seriously, and the best of them can offer a worthwhile big picture view. But personal bias gets in the way too often, and the voting should definitely be weighted much more heavily towards former and current players.
Those examples of players who should've never had votes is hilarious. Jim Abbott doesn't even think he deserved those votes! The disabled don't want your pity, just a better parking spot than you.
The moral arbiters thing is nonsense too. Pete Rose should definitely be in the HOF, no matter how much of a lowlife he is.
But McGwire doesn't belong. Not JUST because he cheated, but because he sucks. Seriously. He did one thing on a baseball field - hit home runs - and that one thing was aided by drugs. He just flat out wasn't a good ballplayer. Keep him out.
How's Big Mac's campaign to educate kids about steroids going, btw? Remember that one he talked about dedicating the rest of his life to at the Congressional hearings? I must've missed the coverage of that.
Baby arm gets you a better parking spot? This country sucks.
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